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“But he is very introverted so for him it made a lot of sense that I was wanting to seek out other connections and other relationships. She also spends several nights a week at her boyfriend’s house. That said - her husband and her boyfriend are mates and they hang out without her.
He likes to spend most of his time doing music.“It’s been a year since we’ve opened and I’ve been with my boyfriend for six months. I am a lot happier, he’s happy that I am out doing what I want to do and Dave is part of our family. She came to polyamory years ago after her relationship with someone she thought was “the one” “completely fell apart”. “The pre-conception that one person can be everything for you and that one person will make you happy and one person will fulfill all your dreams and that one person can be there all the time for you and that they’re never going to need something that you can’t give them,” she says.“It seems illogical.”You might be thinking ‘life’s busy enough with one partner’. “(Jealousy) comes up and anybody who says that it never comes up really isn’t being honest with themselves.
So when you know that your relationship is only between the two of you and not really affected by the fact that there’s another relationship going on it’s easier to cope with someone dating someone else.”Laura says opening her relationship was not about sleeping around.“It’s a commitment.
and then at the other end you’ve got people who really enjoy lots of sex with lots of different people but they’re always honest about what they’re offering and it’s always with care and love and connection.”But Alain De Botton, the prominent British philosopher who has written extensively about love and relationships, says polyamory is based on a false premise.“I think jealousy is deeply ingrained within us and I think sometimes the cult of polyamory teaches us to feel ashamed of our naturally possessive and insecure sides.“It makes us feel that these sides are not legitimate.
I’m not saying they’re great but they just exist and trying to deny them is like trying to deny bad weather or the tide - like good luck to you. But Eliot, whose mission it is to help poly people find friends and lovers through his speed dating events, says that for him, polyamory is an exercise in being more honest with himself and his partners.
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